Social distancing and stay at home orders are putting a dent in people’s ability to physically cheat on their partners. But once an affair has begun, it’s hard to put out the fire, and the obsessive thoughts and drive to see the other person can lead to some pretty desperate feelings. Visits to porn sites and “cheat on your spouse” sites are soaring to the point of crashing. The use of Viber, WhatsApp and Zoom are doing double duty to communicate with secret lovers. Is it still cheating if you’re not actually having sex? Are they finding a way to have sex?
Being around your partner more than usual can bring behaviors to light that may have slipped under the radar before. Is your partner taking lots of calls that don’t seem to be all business? Are they hiding their phone or computer activity? Are they using things like extra-long runs or bike rides or volunteering to go grocery shopping as excuses to get out of the house? Do they seem resentful at having to spend so much time with you? Many people who were only vaguely suspicious that their partner was having an affair are convinced now.
In China, divorces surged as people started returning to their lives after lockdown. Divorce attorneys are already hearing from clients and predict a surge in divorce filings here in the US once the courts open back up. Seeking counseling or simply walking out is pretty much out of the question right now for most people. Many people are using this time to seriously plan for a new life after lock down. Some are just waiting to confront their partner about their newly discovered affairs when the children are out of the house. Some people have come face to face with the fact that they just really don’t like their partner. Others have decided that since they are the one doing all the care giving and house work, what do they need the other person for anyway? One thing’s for sure, life won’t be the same.