Let me preface this blog post by stating that we’ve gotten permission from Tiffany to tell her story. Sadly enough, this story is a perfect example on how infidelity can change and hurt lives. We wanted to share Tiffany’s story here because it’s one we hear too often. It’s the story of a seemingly happy couple that has been married for a few years, has started a family, and is heading down what seems to be a perfectly nice, normal life. Her husband is a college professor; she’s juggling work and kids. Then, out of the blue, she finds panties. And they’re not hers. As Tiffany said, “I’m bawling my eyes out and I can’t think straight, do you have any suggestions on what I should do?”
The shock of finding out that a spouse or partner may be cheating can be overwhelming. The emotions of rage, humiliation, sadness and depression can consume the person. The loss of trust is devastating. For women, finding out their husband is having an affair can add the additional burden of fearing for their financial situation and the general survival of themselves and their children. All these fears play into a woman’s decision whether or not to seek confirmation of their husband’s infidelity. And of course, in the end, you just don’t want to believe he could cheat on you and your family. Tiffany made her decision.
“Okay – It’s been about 6 days since I found these God awful panties and I’m exhausted from not sleeping and from lying to my kids and husband that nothing is wrong. I decided to send the panties and some of my husband’s toothbrush for a DNA comparison test. For my sanity I need to know without a shadow of a doubt that it’s his semen on these panties. As it’s been suggested, I’m praying that my husband’s hockey buddy gave him the panties as a joke. However I know this is wishful thinking and that my marriage will probably be over once the panties come back and his DNA is verified by the lab.”
We talked with Tiffany and went over her testing options. In her case, DNA detection and comparison were the best options. She had an item she suspected belonged to another woman and a DNA detection and comparison test against her DNA could confirm that for her. Then by submitting a sample of her husband’s DNA from his toothbrush we were able to determine that the DNA present on the panties belonged to him. Now she knew for sure and even though painful, it allowed her to move forward and make life changing decisions based on fact—not suspicion.